Support Following the Loss of Your Baby
The bereavement team, management and staff at Frances Perry House wish to extend our sincere condolences to you and your family at this difficult time. We are sorry you are on this page.
We understand that alongside the grief of losing your baby, there is the loss of the hopes and dreams of an imagined future and what that meant for you.
Having a baby should be an exciting and wonderful chapter in our lives but sadly, for many families this is not the case. Every year, around 110,000 Australians will experience a miscarriage, 2,200 more endure a stillbirth, 600 lose their baby in the first 28 days after birth and many more face the grief of ending their pregnancy for medical reasons.
This leaves many families and couples feeling vulnerable, angry, frustrated, alone, confused and devastated. Here at Frances Perry House, we care for and support many families each year who encounter this devastating and life changing experience.
There are many reasons why pregnancy or infant loss may occur.
Miscarriage
Miscarriage is the loss of a pregnancy before 20 weeks. Miscarriage is common with 1 in 5 confirmed pregnancies resulting in this type of loss, frequently occurring in the first 12 weeks of the pregnancy. The rate is likely to be higher though as many women will miscarry without knowing they are pregnant. Miscarriage can happen unexpectedly without warning. It can be obvious or silent.
Please see links for more information.
Stillbirth
Stillbirth is the loss of a pregnancy after 20 weeks. The baby is born still. In Australia, 6 babies are stillborn every day.
Please see link for more information.
Neonatal death
A neonatal death is when a baby is born alive but dies within the first 28 days of life.
Please see link for more information.
Deciding to End a Pregnancy
It is also possible that the health and wellbeing of a mother and/or her baby may necessitate the difficult decision to end the pregnancy. This may occur after an adverse diagnosis is made at any point during the pregnancy but commonly after the 20-week morphology scan and an abnormality(ies) is found with the baby(ies).
The ending of a pregnancy medically or surgically (known as curette), is often a difficult decision parents may make in the pregnancy and these individuals may wish to access support depending on how they are coping with their decision.
Please see links for more information.
Grief After Loss
Irrespective of gestation, we know that the loss of a baby at any point in a pregnancy can be a major traumatic event for some. The response to the loss is unique to that individual and can vary. How far into the pregnancy a woman and her partner are, is not an indicator of how they may be affected by the loss.
There is no right or wrong way to grieve and it can look different for each person. There is no set timeline for grief and individuals do not “get over” a loss. Instead, over time, most adjust to the loss and integrate it into their lives. This may take months or even years.
For others, the loss may be of relative minor significance, and they are able to integrate their loss relatively quickly and get back to normality sooner than they expected.
You will possibly be experiencing a variety of emotions, such as anger, sadness, disbelief and possibly guilt. These are all normal feelings.
Support at Frances Perry House
When pregnancy or infant loss occurs, it is important to know that there is support available. You are not alone in facing what’s ahead.
There are many decisions with regards to your and your baby’s care. Your Midwife and Obstetrician will support you in making these difficult decisions. The Bereavement Support Program at Frances Perry House is also available to help support you and your partner through the provision of:
- Support literature
- Memory making opportunities
- A private Frances Perry House Facebook support group
- Referral to a community bereavement support organisation
- Referral for counselling
- Debriefing opportunities
Please Find the Contact Details Below:
Frances Perry House Bereavement Support Program
Cnr Flemington Road & Grattan Street
Parkville
Vic 3052
Tel: 03 9344 5000 (FPH Reception)
Fax: 03 9344 5161
Email: bereavesup.frp@ramsayhealth.com.au
Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1771239813096959/
Subsequent Pregnancy After Loss
If you have landed on this page because you are trying for another baby after a previous loss, or you are pregnant now, we understand that the next pregnancy can be a time of heightened anxiety and worry for you and your partner. Please know that the Bereavement Support Program alongside your Obstetrician, can help support you through this next pregnancy should you want extra support.
Further Support
The Perinatal Loss Centre
theperinatallosscentre.com.au/
APPN Antenatal & Postnatal Psychology Network
antenatalandpostnatalpsychology.com.au/
SANDS (Miscarriage, Stillbirth and Newborn Death Support)
sands.org.au/
Red Nose Grief & Loss
rednosegriefandloss.org.au/
Australian Multiple Birth Association
amba.org.au/support/information/bereavement
PANDA (Perinatal Anxiety & Depression Australia)
panda.org.au/
For more help &/or support, you may also like to contact:
- Your local GP
- Grief Counsellor
- Your Obstetrician
- MCHN (Maternal Child Health Nurse)
- Psychologist or Psychiatrist (referral via your GP, Obstetrician or APPN above)
- Your chosen funeral home
- Coroner (if a coroner’s case)